(no subject)

[worst_greatest_one]

I haven't labored over my clothes like this since Watford.

I don't have much money to spend on them, but I've brought home a nice enough pair of shirts, some trousers, and even some used Oxfords that still look nice. I haven't bought a tie, but I think that might be too much anyway. The truth is, I don't know. Agatha and I just sort of sprang into being as a couple.

I've never been on a date before.

I pull off the blue button-up and put it back on the bed. I forgot the undershirt anyway, but before I reach for it, I grab up the bottle of cologne. It's not bergamot and cedar - those are the only scents I could think of when the woman at the counter asked me, so I asked for something specifically not them. This bottle smells of a really fancy, clean forest, which should go well with the smokey smell that never quite leaves me.

I start to tip the bottle against my neck, then stop. Fuck, I forgot how much I'm meant to use.

Comments

[sidestepdestiny]

I think I must be depressed. I don't know how else to explain how I've fallen into watching hours of animal documentaries on the Discovery Channel day after day. There's nothing for me here. I looked into buying a violin, but they're far too expensive for the money I have, and I need that for rent and food. So I don't do anything. Except learn facts about animals. (A howler monkey can be heard from three miles away. Fascinating.)

Speaking of loud animals, I can hear Snow banging around his side of the apartment, but I don't pay it much mind until I smell something...perfume-y?

"What's that smell?" I call over, sitting up.

[sidestepdestiny]

Snow leaves, and I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to leave, make sure I'm not here when he gets back. But it's like my legs have turned to lead, because I don't move. The entire time he's gone I sit on my bed staring across the gap between our rooms. I'm not even thinking, I'm just...there.

I don't cry, at least there's that. And I don't punch a hole through the half wall like I'd like to.

Snow isn't gay, I tell myself. There's no way. He'll come back and realize it was a mistake, and everything will go back to the way it was. I'll still be miserable, but at least it'll be the miserable I'm used to.

I hear Snow unlocking his front door and I grab a book off my nightstand, flopping back on my bed and opening it up like I've been reading this whole time.