(no subject)

[worst_greatest_one]

[continued from here]

I stare at him doubtfully. "Whatever," I say and push up from the table, draining the last of my pint in one long go. I go back to the bar and get another, but this one I take to the far end, where I can still see Baz across the bar and through the crowd. He's off, and he's probably upset about his mum. I'm not going to outright leave him.

I drink my pint and order another round of breadsticks, and I make sure he doesn't go anywhere.

*

I longingly watch Snow's throat work while he drinks. I can't tell if I want to bite it, or lick it. Maybe I do need less beer. Or more...

I stare morosely down at my glass and don't watch him leave. I've already looked at him enough for one day, and now that he's gone I can brood appropriately instead of thinking about his stupid face. Like how his nose is just...right there, and how his eyes are all squinty and those awful moles that aren't even cute at all. The worst. Simon Snow is the worst.

*

He's not alright. That should be obvious, but it's a conclusion I come to slowly as I finish another pint of my own, and then another. Baz, getting sloshed out in the middle of a crowded pub, smiling at me, watching as I walk away.

I let him drink another pint and then I get up, returning to Baz's side to touch his shoulder. "C'mon," I say, lying in a sudden stroke of brilliance, "I forgot my key to the building. Have to use yours."

Comments

[sidestepdestiny]

I blink slowly up at Snow and bat at his hand, trying to get it off my shoulder. It's too close, too warm.

"That's what spells are for, Snow," I sneer, even though my words sound soft around the edges and it's taking a lot of effort to make my face do the expression I want it to.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Yeah," I agree, "And mine might magic the door clean off." His expression is slack. I think it's the softest I've ever seen his face, and I'm fascinated. He's got a lock of black hair falling over across his forehead, and I almost reach to push it back before I realize what I'm doing.

"C'mon," I say again, pushing my hand beneath his arm. "You look like a First Year, Baz. Time to go."

[sidestepdestiny]

I make a sound of deep displeasure, but it comes out sounding a bit like a dying elephant. Anyway, I guess I can't let Snow blow up his apartment, if only because mine is right next door and I'd like to have somewhere to sleep while I'm stuck in this pit.

"That's so rude Snow," I say, trying to sound as dignified as possible while he's lifting me with his stupid brute strength. I push away from him as soon as I'm standing, but it only makes me wobble and grab his arm for support.

[worst_greatest_one]

He's not only accepting my help, but reaching for more of it. If that doesn't convince him he's in a bad way, nothing else will. "Steady on," I say while he grips my shoulder, waiting to see if I need to sling his arm over my shoulders.

"I think we'd better take a taxi."

[sidestepdestiny]

"Yeah, yeah," I murmur while I get my bearings. I slowly let go of Snow's arm, knowing it's a bad idea all around. Snow is far too close, and I can't see his cross, if he's even wearing it, so it's just...no.

"Is it too far to walk?" I ask, indignant. When I move away from the table I realize something is wrong with my leg. When did that happen? I give it a quizzical look and then look to Snow with an exaggerated pout.

"My leg won't work right!"

[worst_greatest_one]

"You're pouting," I say in wonderment, but then he complains for his leg. "It hasn't worked right since you got here," I remind him, and then I do pull his arm over my shoulder. Between his leg and the ale, I'll be half-dragging him home.

Maybe I can get a bit of truth out of him for my troubles. "What happened to it?"

[sidestepdestiny]

"I don't pout," I huff. I remember about my leg, then, the limp, and it distracts me from the fact that Snow is touching me again. I take a few tentative steps and discover that I can walk, despite the limp.

"It was those fucking numpties. They don't know how to treat a person! If I'd had my wand I would have blown them to pieces. Fucking barbarians."

[worst_greatest_one]

"Numpties?" I ask in surprise. His limp seems worse, and I sling my arm around his waist, and our next steps aren't nearly as lurching. "You got attacked by numpties?" I ask. Baz doesn't really seem like the sort to hang out regularly under bridges. "How?"

[sidestepdestiny]

"I was at the club and without my wand and they just fucking overtook me," I explain loudly, because Snow needs to understand that it was a freak occurrence, that if I'd thought for one moment numpties might be after me I never would have let them ambush me like that.

"They kept me underground for six months!" I exclaim very close to his ear. Oh, that's a nice ear, how did that get there?

[worst_greatest_one]

"Couldn't've been," I murmur, trying to shush him. "Stop shouting about your wand, you nob." He looks about two seconds from careening into my ear, and I pull my head away, remembering quite suddenly that I don't have my cross. If he tries biting me, I'll curse him into next week.

"And you were only gone for a few weeks from school, and break isn't six months long."

[sidestepdestiny]

I snap out of my ear-induced stupor and huff. "It was well close to six months! It was a very long time. Very dark," I quietly trail off, remembering it with a shudder.

I don't see the gold chain around his neck, and I pat his chest while we walk. Purely to see if the necklace is there. "Where'd your cross go?"

[worst_greatest_one]

"I quit wearing it when you didn't come back," I say, realizing as soon as it's out of my mouth that it's rather rude, but hell, it's Baz. He's used to me accusing him of being the undead.

"Agatha gave it to me, and then she chucked me," I add with a bitter twist of my mouth as we step into the night. "If we ever get back, she's free for you at last."

[sidestepdestiny]

I forget all about the cross when he brings up Wellbelove. Free for me? For me? I burst out laughing.

"Now I know I'm drunk."

Did I say that out loud? Oh well. I do know I'm drunk, because there's no way the golden pair broke up, and there's no way I want Wellbelove.

[worst_greatest_one]

He laughs at me, and for a moment I'm so angry I can't even keep moving us forward. Agatha broke my heart, or near enough - whenever I get sad I think about how I have no idea what I'm meant to do now, and what family will take me in during Christmas. It's the part of the year I look forward to most.

"Fuck you," I mutter, walking towards the curb. "I ought to leave you here. Maybe in the middle of the road."

[sidestepdestiny]

"What? Why?" I say, and feel my face fall. That's not very nice. Cars are in the street.

I stop walking abruptly as realization dawns, and point an accusing finger at Snow. It's a little off aim.

"You're trying to kill me! We have a truce. Remember?"

[worst_greatest_one]

"Yeah," I agree, "But if you take the piss over Agatha chucking me again, I'm gonna break it." My words come out in a nice little growl, which I'd feel better about if I weren't so annoyed.

"Stop lurching," I say and grab him up again, lifting my arm for a taxi. "Hurry up," I chance, and one sails into park right in front of us. I open the door and begin squishing Baz inside.

[sidestepdestiny]

"Wait--" So many things are happening at once. I'm stuck on that little growl Snow makes, and then he's stuffing me into the back of a taxi. I sprawl out, tipsy and dizzy, and oh; laying down is nice. I decide to keep doing that, letting my limbs fall where they may.

"Were you serious? About Wellbelove?" I ask, gazing up at the ceiling of the car.

[worst_greatest_one]

I end up with foot leg in my lap. It's either sit on him or try moving it from the seat, but it's his bad leg and I don't want to risk twisting it worse, and so I put it in my lap instead.

Whatever.

"Why would I lie?" I ask, staring out the window. I'm so hot, and the glass is so cool. I press my cheek to it. "She's all yours."

[sidestepdestiny]

I can't even believe it; the golden couple? Broken up? And Snow thinks I want her? I guess all my pretend looks her way have Snow really believing I swooped in and stole her or something.

The only person who would be happy about Wellbelove and I getting together, including me, would be Father.

I start giggling.

"Thanks for your blessing, Snow. I'll get right on that when we get back," I say, still grinning up at the ceiling.

[worst_greatest_one]

I don't know what I expected. Truce or not, he hates me, and somehow the magic doesn't seem to count stabbing me in the heart as hurting me.

"You always were a cruel bastard," I say, looking at him in disgust, and when the car roll up at a light, I can't help myself. I push his leg off of me and get out.

If I stay around his giggling face, celebrating my shit life a second longer, I'm going to go off.

[sidestepdestiny]

"Hey-- hey..." I crawl across the seat and spill out of the car. The driver's yelling at us about our fare, so I grab my wand and cast On your way! It actually works, I don't even know if that's a real spell, but I'm too drunk to care.

"Where're you going?" I ask, hurt and drowsy, trying to catch up with Snow.

[worst_greatest_one]

I hear his lurching steps before his voice, and I turn to stare at him incredulously, my own face hot and miserable. "Away from you?" I ask like he's twelve.

"I'm not gonna sit in a taxi with you and listen to how you plan on dating my ex-girlfriend, Baz. Not that it'll be hard." I shove a forearm beneath my eyes. "She's still got your handkerchief."

[sidestepdestiny]

I think Snow's about to start crying, and I don't know why but it's making me incredibly flustered.

"Crowley, I'm not-- wait, she stole my handkerchief?" I ask, completely affronted. I shove my wand back into my coat pocket and put my hands on my hips. "How? Why?"

[worst_greatest_one]

"From the Wavering Wood?" I say, again like he's off his gourd. "From your little - " I'm so angry I can't even think of the word, the fancy one. Tryst.

"Snogging," comes out of my mouth instead, and sparks fly from my fingertips. I shove my hands into my pockets so I don't set the horrid undead bastard alight. "What's the point in pretending you don't know what I'm talking about, Baz? You're too sloshed for schemes."

[sidestepdestiny]

"I don't remember giving her a damned handkerchief and I most certainly didn't snog her," I say, making a face. Any other time I'd let this hang over Snow's head, pick at him with it until he blew the whole area to bits. But my head is spinning, and honestly I'm tired of hearing about Wellbelove and how heartbroken Snow is over her. This isn't fun anymore.

"I'm sure she'll realize what a tragic mistake she's made and take you back as soon as we get out of here."

[worst_greatest_one]

He looks disgusted, and I can't understand why. Probably because he didn't manage to bag her just yet. That's an awful way to think about her, and I feel bad about it a moment later, but he probably wouldn't.

"You were holding hands," I say, but the truth is, I'm tired. I don't want to think about Baz and Agatha anymore. "I don't care," I lie. "She's not here anyway. Just stop laughing at me."

[sidestepdestiny]

"I wasn't even laughing at you, I was laughing at your absurd idea of Wellbelove and I as a--" I wave my hand, like I can't think of the right word. "Couple. We all know you two are made for each other. Believe me."

I scowl and start walking in the direction I think Dimera is in. I don't really care. My leg has gone numb and I stomp it a few times as I walk. Snow probably thinks I'm having a tantrum, but I don't care.

[worst_greatest_one]

I used to think that, that we were made for each other. She was my future, my one good thing to look forward to if I made it out of everything alive. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do without her, but maybe it doesn't matter anymore. She's not here and I am.

At least Baz is here, too, and not with her. Limping his way down the pavement in the wrong direction. I heave a sigh and yank his arm over my shoulder again, pulling him the right way down the street. "Then what were you doing?" I ask while he's leaning against me and can't escape. "You were holding hands and gazing at each other like you were about to break into song."

[sidestepdestiny]

Snow pulls me against him again, and I don't fight it. He's warm, and he smells like a different kind of soap, here, and for once I don't want to push him away, I just...let myself lean on him, a little. Maybe I'll get sloshed every day.

"We were just talking. It's private. But I swear it wasn't romantic," I mumble. "Listen, if she was waving my handkerchief around, she was probably trying to make you jealous so you'd pay more attention to her. Girls are like that."

[worst_greatest_one]

"I don't think so," I murmur, and I can't tell whether I believe Baz or if I just don't care to argue anymore. Either way, it doesn't seem right that he could have something private with someone else's girlfriend.

Dimera is ahead, and I breathe a sigh of relief, though Baz's weight is easy enough to handle. He's always been slim. "She said she doesn't want to be my prize at end of the story. I don't want her to be either."

[sidestepdestiny]

I roll my eyes, not that Snow can see with the way my nose is pressed against his shoulder.

"Girlfriends are unnecessarily dramatic," I say, like I've ever had a girlfriend to relate to the situation. I do have a stepmother and three little sisters, and even though Daphne is about the least dramatic person I know, it's still something. "You're better off without her probably."

[worst_greatest_one]

It almost sounds like a nice thing to say. Immediately, I'm suspicious of it, but the Dimera is in front of us, and I balance Baz against my hip while I dig in my other pocket for the key I'd lied about. I get the door open and pull Baz into the lobby.

"Lift," I say, because there's no way we're taking the stairs with that leg of his.

[sidestepdestiny]

"Yeah, yeah." I walk to the lift with Snow, and when we get inside I disentangle myself from him, leaning against the elevator wall instead. If I stand too close too long I might do something stupid.

I openly watch Snow across the lift, because it's dim, because I've had a lot to drink, because I'm tired and for a moment I can't find it in me enough to care to guard myself from staring.

[worst_greatest_one]

I hit the button for our floor and lean against the opposite side of the lift, frowning when I realize Baz is staring at me. Not my throat, either, where I can feel a sudden uptick in my pulse.

"What?" I ask. I don't think he wants to eat me, but he almost looks it.

[sidestepdestiny]

I could say he looks handsome in his shirt. I could say I never wanted Wellbelove. I could say thanks for bringing me back to the apartment. I could say a lot of things, but I don't. I look away and mumble, "Nothing."

When we get to our floor, I shuffle off for my room, groping in my pocket for my room key.

[worst_greatest_one]

The lift bell rings, and Baz steps out, and I shake off whatever spell I'd fallen under while he looked at me. He's at his door and fumbling, and I sigh and come forward, thrusting my hands into his jacket pockets. There's no key in either of them, and I look down, finally spying the outline of a key in his right pants pocket.

I tap it. "There."

[sidestepdestiny]

Snow just can't leave well enough alone, his hand goes in my pocket and he touches my thigh and I practically jump away.

"Don't touch me," I snarl, feeling my pulse quicken. I grab for the key in my pocket and fumble to unlock my door, shoving it open.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Fine," I snarl back, but my heart is pounding, something dark like shame unfurling inside me, and I don't even know what I did. "Sorry," I say to stop the tide of it, stepping away to my own door. "Sleep it off."

[sidestepdestiny]

"I will," I snap, and don't give Snow a second look before quickly stepping into my room and slamming my door behind me. I know I'm overreacting, I know I don't have to get so worked up any time he's near me like that, but the last thing I want is for him to notice what it does to me.

I should spell myself sober. Maybe I should have an hour ago. But I don't. There's a reason I drank, and I know I'll fall asleep faster because of it, at least.